Love in the Time of Corona

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10

Love is naturally on a high during the good, happy times – but it runs deepest at a time of crisis. After a century since the last major pandemic that killed millions, the world is once again battling a disease it cannot control. Amidst all the advances in medicine, we humans are still way behind what really goes on in our very own cells. The COVID-19 disease, which comes from the virus called SARS-CoV-2, is spreading across our borders at a pace our health care workers could not keep up with.

As of writing, 179,111 cases have been confirmed with 7,426 deaths (WHO, Situation Report 57, https://www.who.int/docs/default-source/coronaviruse/situation-reports/20200317-sitrep-57-covid-19.pdf?sfvrsn=a26922f2_4 (last accessed March 18, 2020)). Reports are not accurate. It doesn’t take a scientist to report that we are now all affected – maybe not physically, but this virus has definitely reached each of us mentally, and more so emotionally. Most governments by now have restricted movements in major metropolis areas. In the Philippines, the island of Luzon has been placed in an Enhanced Community Quarantine, while other major regions such as Davao and Cebu have been planning similar strategies to contain the virus themselves.

As a result of these measures, most Filipinos are stuck in their very homes, allowed only to go out for essential transactions such as banking, seeking medical care and buying necessary goods to keep them afloat during these times. Shouldn’t be so bad, right? It’s like being on sick leave, except that you aren’t sick – or at least you don’t know it yet in this case. The idea of the lock down however, has made staying at home for all of us much more challenging than we thought it would be. Even those who were allowed to work from home are complaining of how much work they are asked to accomplish during these days. By opening your social media accounts and scrolling down your timelines of the different platforms available, you can spot how different people are behaving nowadays. Everyone is finding a way to keep themselves “sane” despite the stay at home orders from our government.

Along with the different behaviors, comes the different opinions on the matter – this blog included. But I’m not going to talk about how to handle the situation better or what we should or should not be doing. Neither will I be giving tips on how to go about if you do have the symptoms. Instead, I’ll be sharing my thoughts and emotions from the last few days I’ve stayed at home, some of which have nothing to do with the virus at all.

Fear. About 60% of time I’ve been home, I’m afraid of what might be. I’ve been told in the past that being afraid of something that might happen is as good as being afraid of a ghost that isn’t there. Yet, one can’t help but think of the possibilities that may come about. I’ve been checking my temperature at least 4x a day. I have not gotten a reading over 37.1, yet I feel like I’m a potential carrier. My dad’s room is just across the hall and I’m so afraid that he might get it from me, regardless if I had symptoms or not. They say it’s not much of a risk to have it at my age, but when the elderly get it, it’s potentially fatal. In our country, most especially. I think we may have the highest death rate, considering that we have just about 200 confirmed cases with around 20 dead. Because of this, the ghost seems so real. And instead of using this time at home to bond with family, we have to deliberately choose to be apart.

Apart from the fear that the virus would get to our elders, I also can’t help but think about what life would be after this hiatus. Socially and economically, it will surely be different. Will you ever shake another person’s hand again? Open a door without sanitizing after? Hire an Angkas driver? Get on a Grab car? Loan a Citi bike? Will the stock market recover?How long will it take? Will 50% of the government’s budget now go to health care? How many businesses will close after this? How many workers will be laid off? Too many questions that lead to one answer right now – wait and see. And when the answer is wait and see, we become anxious, and anxiety is the worst way to feel fear. It is the hardest to conquer because it drives a multitude of thoughts into your brain and affects it not only during the moment of being fearful but also when the fear is gone. It damages our brain by inserting some kind of trauma that is just waiting to be triggered.

Luckily, just like any other trigger, there is a safety switch that prevents the trigger even when someone tries to pull it deliberately. The book of Proverbs tells us “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” (Proverbs 12:25) What is a good word? It could be different for each of us. What’s good for me, isn’t necessarily good for you and vice versa. The way we were raised and our experiences growing-up will all contribute to what’s good for us. My good word is this, “you know you’re a true Christian when you are no longer concerned about what other people say, and instead concern yourself with what God will say about you.” I heard this from our church’s head pastor during a trip to the Holy Land. Those words stuck to me like glue since then, and has provided me with a shield from any evil thoughts that attempt to cloud my mind, including fear. Whenever I hear those words, nothing else matters except that fundamental relationship I have with the Lord. If I can take care of that, I will be fine no matter what. And even better, I am certain that the whole world will be okay because He is in control.

However, fear can also be good. In fact, what has allowed people to stay at home and fight this virus is fear. Fear drives us to do what is good. Have we not heard many times over that to be God-fearing is a trait you ought to look for in a friend? So why then find a way to stop the trigger of it? Or does stopping the trigger, trigger the good word that we need to remind ourselves of from time to time? Your guess is as good as mine on this one.

History. About 10% of the time I’ve spent at home has allowed me to look back at history. What does history teach us about this? A lot of infographics on the different pandemics the world has been challenged with have surfaced the internet these past days. The black plague, the Spanish flu, SARS, etc. We have been through this before, and the fact that we are still here means these viruses have not won against the human race. Eventually, we will find a cure and we will overcome this. Sure, life may never be the same as before, but how else does the world progress except to adapt, change and move forward. Mind you however, progress does not always mean to be more technologically advanced. Progress of the human race can only be progress if things are better, less complicated, for us all. Isn’t that what technology is all about after all? To make life simpler for us? Yet, not all technology has done this for us. Some has brought us backwards by complicating our lives. How else did you think this virus got to 176 countries in such a short time? It doesn’t seem like we are using technology wisely, does it?

More than the history of viruses, I have thought about social pandemics that plagued our past. Particularly the one Jose Rizal talked about – the cancer of society. Rizal saw a problem growing within our people. Simply put, people were growing corrupt under the Spanish rule. It’s no different today. With or without the Spaniards in our land, corruption still lives among us. Today alone, we have heard stories of checkpoints asking for bribes from health care workers just to let them pass. We have also heard of subtle, yet very petty debates between our politicians on who is doing a better job in their respective LGUs. Some politicians have even been accused for using this crisis as a platform for the next elections. Then there are the many asymptomatic “elite” individuals being tested, while those who need them most have to wait in line due to availability. And of course, how can we ignore the stories of deception, real numbers being hidden from us, because they did not want to cause panic? Had we known and started earlier, we could have moved to keep still faster. Funny how such an oxymoronic phrase makes most sense nowadays. The point is, when this is all over, we all need to work on our hearts and keep it free from corruption. “Above all else, guard your heart.” (Proverbs 4:23) If we can do that, a lot more problems than just this virus will be solved. It’s about time that we learned from history – and there is no better way than to look at HIStory.

Love. 30% of my time has been spent on Netflix, watching the Korean show everyone has been raving about. CLOY or Crash Landing on You is a love story about a couple whom fate keeps bringing together, but the world keeps tearing apart. A North Korean soldier falls in love with a South Korean aristocrat. I have not finished the series yet, but there seems to be one thing about their love for each other that stands out the most to me. The couple’s love for each other is expressed in their willingness to be alone together. No wonder it’s constantly in the top 10 most watched Netflix materials these days. Most of us are now struggling with this – being away from our loved ones. It does not matter if they are across the hall or across an ocean right now. The fact is, we have to stay away from each other. How does that even work? Staying away from a person you love because you love them? What kind of a world do we live in if that’s the case? A cruel one, I suppose.

But the bible says God is love. (Ephesians 4:2) The greatest love known to man kind is the love the God has for us. Yet, while here on earth, we are separated from Him since birth. The history of that of course goes way back to the time of Adam and Eve. We all know that it was their disobedience that had destroyed their fellowship with God, and evicted them from the garden of Eden. But God did not love us less even when he chose to separate from us. There is always a debate as to why God even allowed them to be disobedient – did He plan for us to be separated? The answer of course is a no. But from the beginning, part of loving us was giving us the freedom to choose. It was this freedom that led to our separation. Then one would argue again, if He loves us that much, why separate from us despite our disobedience? We will never fully understand the mind of God of course (“For My thoughts are not your thoughts” Isaiah 55:8), but this much I have come to know. To love someone is a choice. Loving someone is putting that choice to action, and it isn’t easy. There are several things you need to learn, and as you learn how to love, you love even more. Most of the time, loving someone means allowing them to get hurt, because it is when we are hurt or broken, when we find ourselves in a crisis, that we truly love deeply. And if there is a greater feeling than to be loved, it is to love with all your heart – and this is what God wants for us.

God allowed separation to allow us to get hurt and feel all the other negative emotions one feels when separated from God. It’s like He sent us on a life long retreat, to reflect on our disobedience, while reminding us of how much He loved us by sending His only Son to bridge that gap. And it worked. Most of us have found ourselves running back to Him, yearning to know of this love. From time to time, while still on earth, we experience Him through divine transcendence. We are filled with His grace, yet we continue to sin and somehow feel the gap widening. It’s a sad love story when no matter what you do, you just can’t get to the one you love the most.

I don’t know yet how CLOY will end, if the cross border couple will find a way to unite at some point and live their lives together. I have at least 3 more hours of film waiting for me. But even if they don’t, I admire them already. They get that love is not just about being together, but that it does not have to cease to exist when you are apart. Love in the time of Corona is a love that runs deep. A love expressed through separation. It’s close to the love that God has for us, a love that most of us have either forgotten or taken for granted. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) is a verse we all need to put into practice nowadays. To know God is to learn of love. And to learn how to love (through Christ), is the greatest love this world has known (John 3:16).